Guest author - Brad
Hello faithful readers. Like many of you, I look forward to Lauren’s near-weekly recounting of our adventures and misadventures here in Singapore. With her encouragement, (and hopefully judicious editorial support) I will try to entertain you with some of my epicurean exploits. Two quick disclaimers: first, I’m not half the writer Lauren is, and second, if you are squeamish or vegetarian, this might not be the post for you.
I should start by saying that I am lucky to have one of the most interesting jobs I can imagine. As part of my job, I get to travel throughout Southeast Asia meeting with our customers, distributors, and potential future partners in search of ways to develop and grow our business. Nearly everywhere I go I am fortunate to be met by gracious hosts who enthusiastically introduce me to their culture – which almost always includes a banquet full of traditional dishes and local specialties. Last week in Kaohsiung, Taiwan I was treated to a very memorable Teppanyaki meal on the 77th floor of the Tuntex Sky Tower.
Teppanyaki is a Japanese style of cooking where the meal is prepared in front of you similar to the Hibachi Grill in the US. The meal started with a warm salad, which consisted of a tomato slice covered with a raw egg and mixed greens in a bronze bowl. The bowl itself is mounted in a wooden base, which allowed a flame to warm the bowl and thus cook the egg while you eat. Next there was a soup course followed by a plate of grilled mushrooms. For seafood we had cod, oysters and live lobster; (live that is until the cook split it down the middle, slapped it on the grill, and waited for the legs to stop moving). Each course was artfully prepared in front of us and presented on individual plates. The meal continued like this for more than two hours before finally concluding with red bean crepes… or so I thought. We moved to a more comfortable room to enjoy coffee and crepes; there we were each served a huge platter of mangoes, watermelon, pineapple, ice cream, and puff pastries. What a meal!
The Asian approach to dining is slightly different than western customs. Even though western restaurants are trending toward louder dining environments with tables packed close together, loft-style hardwood floors, unfinished ceilings, and kitchens that open to the dining room, it would still be considered a boorish offense for your dinner party to make a scene by being too loud and obnoxious. Most restaurants here however have several small private banquet rooms, which facilitate both private conversation and boisterous laughter and hullabaloo. Your wine or beer will be constantly re-filled and several toasts will be made throughout the evening, thus making private dining rooms more of a practical necessity than a luxury. Rather than order individual meals from a menu, the host will order several dishes for the entire party to share. Without fail, the host will order way more food than should or even could be consumed in one sitting. Most dishes are placed on a turntable in the center of the large round dining table; some will be served directly to your plate. Don’t expect a pretentious place setting with multiple forks spoons and knives, as you are likely to only have a set of chopsticks and a porcelain spoon. Occasionally there is a small bowl on the table that is meant for washing your hands… or it could be soup. I can never tell so I just wait to see what the others do with it.
Most of the food I’ve encountered in Asia has been quite delicious even though its appearance or the surrounding ambiance may have been less than appetizing. My advice is to keep an open mind, try (almost) everything, and if it helps, pretend you’re on Fear Factor. In case you never get the chance to sample the local cuisine for yourself, here are some highlights.
- Thai BBQ Chicken – Delicious, but be prepared to get the whole chicken minus the head. After poking at it ineffectually with a chopstick for a few minutes (remember no forks or knives) I just picked it up with two hands and bit into it like a hungry savage. Spitting vertebrae and bones on your plate is perfectly acceptable.
- Sashimi – Albacore, Ahi, and Salmon are my favorites. For those of you that don’t know, Sashimi is very fresh raw fish (like sushi). Small bite-sized pieces would seem practical, but for some reason it always seems to come in 5cm or longer strips that are more than a mouthful.
- Hairy Crab – These little guys are found in the cold waters north of Japan. I haven’t found a type of crab that isn’t absolutely delicious, but these guys look like no other. Their shells are covered in little hairs that are actually soft to the touch. Looking for a pet but think a dog or cat is too high maintenance?
- Sea Urchin – My first encounter was rough - I think it was served raw and it tasted like cold salty rubber. The second time I tried it, it was served on cucumber with soy and wasabi.
- Goose & Duck Livers – These seem to vary from good to gag-reflex depending on how they are prepared and what type of sauce they are in. The majority of what I’ve sampled has been quite good, so go for it.
- Bak Kut Teh – This is a traditional Chinese/Hokkien soup that literally means “Meat Bone Tea”. This was a staple diet of 19th century laborers and is still quite popular throughout Malaysia and elsewhere. You’ll find lots of kitchens hidden in alleyways and out of the way spaces where traditional Bak Kut Teh and rice is the only thing being served. My first introduction to Bak Kut Teh in Malaysia started with the waiter bringing a pot of boiling water to our table so that we could sterilize our own dishes and chop sticks. This didn’t do much for my confidence, but the food itself was actually very good. It is essentially boiled pork in a broth soup with a complex variety of Chinese spices.
- Street Food – If you come to Singapore, definitely eat at a Hawker Center. These are no frills, outdoor food courts with some of the cheapest and most authentic recipes on the island. The Singapore government closely monitors the vendors to insure sanitary and hygienic practices. The same is not true throughout the rest of Southeast Asia. I highly recommend a walk down a crowded food street to absorb the sights sounds and smells of the local street food scene, but I would not recommend eating there unless you’re trying to loose 4-5 pounds in the next 24 hours.
- Durian – Sometimes referred to as the ‘king of fruits’ the Durian is a large, thorny fruit, known for its distinctive odor. Most people find the odor repulsive and describe it as everything from rotting onion to dirty gym socks. Even with its pungent odor, it is considered a delicacy and is found in many expensive deserts. I have sampled durian and thought it tasted quite good, but not good enough to put up with the odor. I’ll stick to ice cream, thanks.
- Stinky Tofu – This should win some kind of award for the world’s biggest understatement. Calling this fermented tofu ‘stinky’ is like calling the Grand Canyon a ditch. ‘Stinky’ is how I describe Dagny’s diapers; this stuff is an all out assault on your olfactory senses. It is as if the aforementioned Durian was wrapped in a sweaty gym sock, soaked in formaldehyde, and shoved directly into your nose thorny spines first. I got within 1m of this stuff at a street kiosk before my eyes started to water so much that I had to hastily retreat. I’ll never try the stuff, but I am fascinated that there are humans out there willing to be around this stuff at their food stands several hours everyday. Amazingly that must mean that there is a legitimate market for this wretched product. Who knows, it might taste like pumpkin pie but I’ll never get close enough to find out.
The last thing that I wanted to describe for you deserves a paragraph of its own. As an appreciative guest, I do my best not to be a high maintenance, finicky eater. When asked if I can take seafood, I generally respond affirmatively with the caveat that I do not care for squid or octopus. For some reason, both here and in the US, these words trigger the same reaction. “Oh calamari is very good… try some, you’ll like it” or “The squids are in season right now and are fantastic, just try some, you’ll like it.” Last week, mere minutes after stating that I did not care for squid or octopus the very first thing put on my plate was a six-inch whole squid. I looked at the squid… my chopsticks… and my host and said, “What am I supposed to do with this?” He nonchalantly replied, “You just bite into it.” I’ve read Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham to Dagny several times - I know how these pesky Sam-I-Am types operate, they just don’t take no for an answer. So I looked down at the plate and decided that the head of my squid looked slightly less disgusting than the tentacles. (Remember, there are no knives, so the middle wasn’t a viable option.) I picked up the whole thing up with my chopsticks and proceeded to bite the head off (or what I'm guessing was the head... who really knows for sure?), cleaning the cartilage spine with my teeth as I pulled it from my mouth. Somehow I managed to eventually swallow it while I watched black ink ooze out of its body onto my plate. For all of my friends out there reading this that might one day play Sam’s role and cajole me into trying squid… I’ve tried it… guess what? Still really gross.
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